Whoa There

27 Jul

Steve and I were watching Jeopardy last night (nerd alert!) and he said something that made me skip a breath…. we could be parents in as little as two weeks.  Two weeks.  Technically, this baby girl could come RIGHT NOW.  Like, my water could break here at work and contractions could start, and …. yeah.  Steve’s cousin recently went into labor one month early and had her baby an entire month before his actual due date.  Well, guess what – August 2nd isn’t that far away.  YIKES.

I had a bit of a breakdown last night.  I’m scared of labor and delivery.  It’s a perfectly rational fear.  I know the anatomy and physiology part of everything, but that doesn’t change the fact that in 4-6 weeks, I will be pushing a 6+ pound baby out of a 10cm opening of my body.  Millions of women have done this before – but I have not.  100% unknown, uncharted territory.

I’m scared.

I’m terrified.

I don’t know how to deal with this fear.

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